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Jab and Grapple - Boxing and Wrestling News and Analysis

WWE One Night Stand Pay-Per-View Results and Live Blog

by Michael Sedor on June 1st, 2008

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WWE One Night Stand Pay-Per-View Results and Live Blog

RESULTS

MATCH #6
Last Man Standing Match For The WWE Championship
Triple H vs. Randy Orton

Result: Triple H wins with a sledgehammer (yes) hit.
Match Grade: B+. Good match which ended early presumably because of a real injury to Orton. The announcing team is saying a broken collarbone and we have no reason to disagree.

Commentary:
Is this match ever going to start? Finally, after an eternity of intros the bell has rung and HHH gets to work quickly slamming Orton into seemingly everything that surrounds the ring: the gate, the announcer’s table, and of course the steel staircase. So far this match has been very one-sided but Orton brings things closer with a terrific drop kick off the ropes.

His advantage doesn’t last as HHH easily tosses him outside the ring and looks ready to reintroduce Orton to the ECW announcer’s table. It doesn’t happen as Orton painfully DDTs HHH’s face into the ringside floor from on top of the table.

Orton is now lifting the padding from the ringside floor. This is so 1982. Cement exposed but no one is taking advantage of it just yet. They’re back in the ring and Orton begins his predictable stomp-o-rama. Guess what’s in the ring now?

It’s the steel stair steps which Orton lifts over his head and tosses into HHH’s face. Hunter gets up but not before Orton brings an extension cord into the ring! He’s choking the lights out of HHH but just not enough to ensure a submission. Another 8 count. Orton looks to finish him off with an RKO but gets tossed out of the ring and, if he hit the steel stairs, might have hurt himself.

He’s holding his collarbone as if it were broken and it just might be. HHH now has a sledgehammer which he connects with. Orton is done and the medics are out. This injury might be real. As he leaves the ringside Orton snarls at a taunting fan and looks like he’s going to snap. We love him even more.

MATCH #5
Stretcher Match
Shawn Michaels vs. Batista

Result: Batista wins convincingly.
Match Grade: A-. Really great match between two top-notch professionals. At the end of the match Michaels received a lot of unnecessary punishment and it will be interesting to see what happens between him and Chris Jericho; whether he thanks him for his care and assistance or resents his ridiculous interference.

Commentary:
The spoilers have suggested a winner here. But I won’t do any spoiling myself.

Batista is cleverly utilizing the stretcher to his advantage slamming the HBK into its exposed top. Michaels hit the Animal with a good kick to the head and them dismantles the ring entrance ramp (which is getting a lot of action tonight). HBK then rams Batista with the stretcher. Good thinking Shawn!

Batista lines up the Batista Bomb outside the ring but Michaels is able to get out of it and manages to get the Animal onto the stretcher. Batista seems out and Michaels is nearing the finish line just as the Animal awakes and does some pounding of his own.

I audibly groan as Batista slams HBK’s band into the side of the ring. Batista looks in control and Michaels is reeling. After one shot he seems to do a full 360-degree turn. After a powerful body slam Batista is lining up HBK for the kill but the wily Michaels is able to dodge the juggernaut who tams himself into the ring post.

Michaels is gradually regaining his energy and looks to put his adversary away with a high-flying elbow drop off the top rope. He’s successful but looks to have done some damage to his problematic back.

The Animal has Michaels in what looks to be, heavens no, a Batista Bomb over the top rope. Michaels gets away and Sweet Chin Music’s Batista onto a stretcher. The Animal is out but maintains a grip on the apron. He doesn’t want to lose and rolls himself off the stretcher.

We wonder how many stretchers are at ringside (maybe 5) as Michaels repeatedly rams one into Batista’s stomach. The Animal counters by flipping up the stretcher into Michael’s face. We can’t believe HBK’s lip isn’t bloodied at this point. Batista continues his dominance and is finally able to land a Batista bomb in the center of the ring. Problem is now he has to drag the HBK onto a stretcher. Does Shawn have time to resuscitate? It seems as Chris Jericho intervenes and stops Batista from rolling Michaels out.

As Y2J leaves Batista pulls Michaels into the ring to inflict more punishment. Michaels looks destitute. Heavens to Betsy, another Batista Bomb landed! This has to be it. But Y2J reappears. He’s put himself in between the stretcher and the finish line and is trying to spur Michaels on.

But he seems to be hurting Michaels more than he’s helping him. Batista brings over the steel ring entrance ladder and ruthlessly slams HBK onto it. The Animal lifts Michaels back onto the stretcher and easily wins. Michaels went through a lot of pain in this one.

MATCH #4
“I Quit” Match
Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Result: Beth Phoenix almost cracks Melina in half and she submits
Match Grade: C-. Just not my cup of tea.

Commentary:
Admittedly I used this women’s match to use the restroom. Now I’m back although I did hear A LOT of screaming from the other room. The Glamazon had Melina in a debilitating back breaker but sadly couldn’t close the deal.

Why must they both scream so much? Please please make them stop. I get it, they’re supposed to be in pain but it’s just so unattractive. Phoenix lands an impressive front face body slam and now has Melina in a hold that really shows off her flexibility. Melina can’t maintain the Phoenix-enforced yoga pose and submits.

MATCH #3
First Blood Match
John Cena vs. John “Bradshaw” Layfield

Result: Cena wins after JBL spits up some “blood”
Match Grade: C. Boring, long, and anti-climatic. Not as bad as their Judgment Day fight but not much better. Let’s hope these two never ever fight again. The fun was a lot too sporadic for my tastes.

Commentary:
We’ve already had blood so we’re about to go 2 for 3 tonight in plasmability. Cena’s already dismantles a turnbuckle. Now they start swinging in the middle of the ring. Knuck if you buck indeed.

They’ve been scrapping outside the ring for a while and this one so far is about as boring as their Judgment Day bout. These two don’t bring out the best in one another. Methinks JBL has a blade in his extra thick knuckle tape tonight.

There’s a whole lot of punching and not a lot of wrestling. JBL Brings out a metal chair and lines up Cena head against the ring post. Luckily John eludes the crushing blow. JBL now has a WWE microphone with which to open up a cut. I think there’s some irony there given JBL’s propensity to talk and talk and talk.

JBL now has the steel ring entrance stairs. Are they going to cause another cut? Not likely. JBL’s not as strong as the Big Show and can’t bear to carry it any further. Cena’s got the mic now but can’t manage to make JBL bleed. His next effort is to rub Bradshaw’s face back and forth against the steel which is quite silly given the steel’s sharp edges. Oh well.

Next up for blood exposure potential is the exposed turnbuckle. Cena hits it heard but his skin is impervious. JBL now has a thick powerful chain and the end timer on this match is thankfully near. Cena gets hit in the stomach with the chain and JR aptly wonders if John has some internal bleeding. How would the ref ever know?

Now Cena’s tied up in the ropes and in some serious danger. JBL’s got an Indiana Jones bullwhip. Uh oh. One crack of that and its over. Cena gets out of the ropes, grabs the chain and proceeds to choke JBL assassin style. Bradshaw spits up some blood and it’s over. That was obviously a blood capsule and sort of a let down given last match’s Type O gushing.

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