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Top WWE Hotties According to Mrs. Jabandgrapple (Nos. 7-4)

by Michael Sedor on May 31st, 2008

Whenever Mrs. Jabandgrapple watches the WWE with me she often repeats the same chorus, “Is John Cena going to be on today? He’s cute,” or “That Randy Orton, he’s a handsome man.”

Today I posed this question: Who are Your Top Ten WWE Hotties?

She couldn’t quite get to ten. Too many meatheads.

Nevertheless here are her numbers seven through four counting down and accompanied by pointed analysis.

7. Chris Jericho

Handsome, yes. Interesting, no. You know he was the homecoming queen’s obligatory date. Great for photo opps and showing off to the parents. Before you meet your real boy toy after the dance.

6. Big Show

I can’t help it. I see Big Show, I think big cuddly love muffin. Kind of like the big huge bouncer at your local club that they hire to look intimidating, but in secret, watches reruns of the Care Bears on DVD. I want to climb into his lap and take a nap with my blankie.

5. Santino Morella

Not exactly as lovable as Domenico from the first season of a Shot at Love, but not far off the mark. Irreverent. Funny. What’s that you say? The accent’s not real? Oh yeah? Well what if I told you wrestling’s not real? Ok then. Don’t rain on my parade. I won’t rain on yours.

4. Jeff Hardy

Adorable. Flexible. A little goofy at times. Eager to please. Come on! You know you wish Jeff Hardy was your boyfriend.

We’ll post the Top Three in about an hour. If you have any disagreements or any additions to the list just comment below and maybe Mrs. Jabandgrapple.com will find reason to reassess numbers ten through eight.

Photo Source: Newscom.com

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POSTED IN: Wrestling